September 12, 2010

Eric: "You just shot a cop."
Tom: "And you're Abraham Lincoln."

September 12, 2010

"Police! Pull over! Grab a drink!"

September 10, 2010

"He died after he hid behind the pillar. That's like being stillborn."

August 16, 2010

"Shit, you got him in the shoulder. That's a head kill."

July 23, 2010

Tom: "Watch this shot. It's a mid shot."
Eric: "What's a mid shot?"
Tom: "It's where you get 'em."

July 23, 2010

Tom: "Oh hey."
John: "Hey."
Tom: "Do you wanna, like, fuck?"

July 23, 2010

"I just jumped over that... 'cause I'm Dracula."

July 19, 2010

"Variable... variable kicks flip 360."

June 9, 2010

"Nollie pi! Mmm... nollie pie..."

June 14, 2010

"Alright, I'm tired of your pettywags."

June 14, 2010

"Alright, I'm gonna pick up a hooker." [blasts hooker with fireman's hose] "Foreplay! Mmm... you're all wet, baby."

June 4, 2010

"It's rated m for m-a-a-a-a-o-o-o-o!"

June 4, 2010

"I don't think that's what this game needs more of. I think this game needs more SNOOOOWWWWW!"

June 4, 2010

"Man, your guy's life sucks. Where's his microwave?"

Sometime Beforehand

John: "I'm bleeding out."

Tom: "I'm... GETTIN' EATEN!"

May 27, 2010

"I'm running low on bro."

May 27, 2010

"Yeah! Did you see that skid? I'm gonna buy my mom one of these!"

May 27, 2010

[Immediately after getting killed] [Singing] "How far we've gone... How far we're goin'..."

May 27, 2010

"You can't catch me! I'm the ghost rider!" [Gets run over by train]

Sometime Beforehand (4)

"Is this your house, John?" [proceeds to break windows of house] "Double-paned, bitch!"

Sometime Beforehand (3)

"Is this your car, John?" [proceeds to explode car] "How are you gonna get home now, bitch!"

Sometime Beforehand (2)

"You tryin' to drive that weak shit around? Fuck me!"

Sometime Beforehand (1)

"I shoved that grenade so far up your ass, it turned into a gerbil!"